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Tuesday, 23rd October, 2001 - 12:02am

details on the fabulous marn visit

So now you've all calmed down from your fits of jealous rage, because I got to meet Marn and you didn't! (well, you did!) - I'll give you details.

Larrielou and I drove up to Australia Zoo (that is to say, Larrielou drove, and I provided musical accompaniment, using a discman with little PC speakers plugged into it). We expected to get lost, so we gave ourselves extra time, but we actually found the place quite easily, so we spent the first hour in the car doing a stake-out of all the other cars driving past.

After an hour past without a glimpse of white hair, we started to get a little nervous. We left the car and decided to stake out the entrance instead.

Then I spotted a familiar looking face in the back seat of a car driving past. Did I recognise that moustache? Why, yes I did! No, it isn't Marn letting herself go, it's 'The Spousal Unit'! And there, beside him, was the (only recently) familiar brilliant white flash of hair.

We found her.

Upon meeting we were presented with our very own face cloths, in order to keep our warm, wet, soap slick fingers where they belong while we shower. It was a great honour. And it's a Ken Done face cloth too. This Marn chick really knows her Aussie stuff.

The day was absolutely terrific. Looking at a plethora of unique Australian animals (mostly in such a docile state we began to wonder if they were a) sedated or b) dead) has such a profoundly different effect when you're doing it with someone not from this country. As Larrielou said, it really raises one's appreciation for what we have here.

Unfortunately we didn't get to meet THE Crocodile Hunter, but while observing the Reticulated Python (the biggest snake in Australia, at 6m (20ft) long) we heard one confident visitor exclaim in a heady Aussie drawl "Well, if you're gonna have a snake, ya may as well make it a good one!" or words to that effect. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe we ARE all like him...

Anyway, at lunch we handed over our genuine Strine gift: Cheezels and Tim Tams. And not just one packet of Tim Tams either, we grabbed as many flavours as we could find. Regular, Double Coat, Dark, and Hazelnut Praline. We also gave her explicit instructions on freezing them, and sucking coffee through them. For the next 6 days in Noosa she can sunbake and add 4 packets of biscuity chocolatey goodness to her hips.

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THINGS I LEARNT ABOUT MARN:

1. She actually calls Paul 'The Spousal Unit' in person.

2. She's become addicted to meat pies while in Australia. And Australian coffee.

3. She loves cheesy flavoured things.

4. She gets upset when we refer to our sweatshirts as 'jumpers'. (Apparently 'jumper' in Canada means 'pinafore' - which can lead to some odd mental images, I guess).

5. She's only maternal towards cats (so she claims).

6. Paul's biggest mission on the trip was to see a Tasmanian Devil and a Thorny Devil.

7. Marn is as sweet and lovely and amazingly amazing person as she appears in her diary, if not more so.

Thank you, Marn, for an tremendous day.

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