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Thurdsay, 21st March 2002 - 12:47pm

Rut Instincts

I wish I was in a rut.

Most people say they are in a rut when they are bored or unhappy with something, and usually it pertains to something repetitive.

I find myself bored and unhappy at times. But I'm not nearly normal enough to get into a rut. Oh no. Every day I get to be bored and unhappy in fresh and exciting ways!

Yes, my problems are constantly "new and improved!" - like pet food flavours.

My name is Christopher, and I have PFFP (Pet Food Flavour Problems).

Working, not working, volunteering, looking for work and studying all at the same time is getting to be rather irksome. I can't earn too much, or my Austudy will get cut off; but if I don't earn enough I can't make ends meet. How much I work is completely out of my hands, so basically I've just been lucky so far.

Looking for work seems to be as useless as a task on Survivor (oh, how I wish I had that Employment Bell!). Employers either want nubile young school-leavers who can be paid minimum wage, or iron-clad professional shitkickers with 100 years experience - meanwhile normal, friendly (attractive, intelligent and well hung) people in their early twenties are left haplessly by the wayside. (Okay, I know there are plenty of normal, friendly, attractive, intelligent and well hung people in their early twenties who are quite sufficiently employed, but that's entirely beside the point.)

And don't even get me started on the inner torment that takes over when I'm asked to do a demo for on air work at the radio station. I don't know whether to be terribly excited because I could actually get on air work [insert goofy flailing about here], or terribly uninterested because it would mean bad hours and shit-all pay [insert sitting in a corner, sulking, here].

These work dilemmas directly affect my living dilemmas, which are also causing me PFFP. As long as I'm earning pitifully little, I can't afford to live anywhere, and am forced to cramp my family's style as I squish into their three bedroom matchbo- uh, house. This can cause some problems, especially with the really critical issues, such as What Television Program To Watch On Tuesdays, Whose Turn Is It To Do The Dishes, and Who Drank The Last Of My Diet Coke!? (the latter of which is usually followed by the sensitive topic, Just Because You Bought It Doesn't Mean You Get To Keep It All To Yourself, You Pig).

As for PFFP's concerning my love life - well, I guess doing absolutely nothing for months at a time constitutes a rut, so let's all just roll our eyes and leave it at that, shall we?

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